Afraid
by AnnieMJ
Summary: Miley was afraid, but now Mikayla is afraid. The world is only normal for Mikayla if Miley hates her because isn't it wrong for her to love her?


**Afraid**

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**Disclaimer: **I do not own Hannah Montana.

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**Mikayla's POV**

I burned deep down inside. Full of hate that stung my throat. Full of fear that ached my soul. Full of anger that coursed through my body. It was either I felt hate or I felt love so much that it hurt.

I couldn't explain the feeling really. I didn't want to explain the feeling because in the end it would only bring me back to her.

She didn't want my feelings or so she made me believe. Sometimes I think she just pushes me away because she's afraid herself. Afraid that if look into her eyes, I'll see the truth. That if she speaks too much, I'll hear her secret. That if she lets me stand too close I'll become what she refuses to let me be.

Hers.

I remember the first time I looked into eyes that resembled the sky on a dark day. Full of emotions that gave her away so easily.

The second time I saw those same revealing eyes it was on someone else and soon realization kicked in and I knew that those two people were one and the same. If the eyes didn't give it away, I then learned through studying them.

They had the same soft looking lips, the small cute nose that crinkled the exact same way. The height, the body, the same smile and laughter. Both of their hands felt warm, safe. They had the same long legs as well, the legs I liked so much. I learned quickly that they were both one. Hannah and Miley are just Miley.

At first I felt shock, and then confusion, followed by admiration. The feelings continued and I became obsessed. How had she kept her secret from the world for so long? Had no one realized the only difference was just the hair color?

Soon enough I gave her hints that I knew. Saying she reminded me of a friend. Cornering her and smirking knowingly before letting her go. I was possessive in a way. I gave her up though. She never let me in and I decided it was best to stay out.

Yet, here I am now with this new feeling of anger when I walk into the award show and see her with him. Does he know? Of course he does. That makes me angrier. She told him her secret but she never told me.

Why would she? I was cold to her. I couldn't help it though. She scared me and therefore I retaliated by putting fear in her eyes. I thrived off of it at first, but then it broke me down. It brought me to a point where I couldn't look at my own reflection. I hate who I am.

I took her secret with me. I left her alone after realizing she wasn't ever going to feel anything but fear for me. Now here she was with someone to call hers that wasn't me.

Does she know she has me sitting here ready to do anything for her? I'd easily rush to her side if a threat came up. I'd take any pain and let it seep into me rather than her. I'd break anyone who dared to try and break her. It's a form of love that's not healthy. It's a form of love that's protective, possessive and worst of all jealous. My love is dangerous.

I stayed in my seat but watched her faithfully. She glanced back and her eyes caught mine. Her lips parted in shock. Then her eyes narrowed and her lips formed into a tight line. Funny how she scares me. The only person that could put this fear in me is her. I doubt she knows that even though I seem together, I'm broken in reality.

Why is she so angry seeing me? I know exactly why. When I realized my sick form of love for her, I disappeared. I couldn't let anyone know, especially not her. My secret was that I knew her secret and a worse secret than hers was mine. I love her. I'm probably crazy. And I'm no good for anyone. I couldn't let her get close to me now.

Funny how roles have switched and I don't let her in. The only reason I'm here is because I have to be. It would be rude of me not to make an appearance at this award show when I was nominated. I was aware of her being here as well so I tried to get out of it, but I couldn't. So I would stay till my piece is done and then I'd disappear again.

Sounds like the perfect plan. The problem with plans though is that they never ever seem to work out the way they're meant to.

I Smile, I laugh, I'm humble and I'm done now as I walk off the stage with my award. I walk straight out of the building, needing to get away quickly. My eyes search out my limo and I find it soon enough. I walk towards it and an uneasy feeling is in me. I'm behind the building so it's lonely with no paparazzi and I feel chills hit my skin, warning me to move faster and I do but of course I didn't move fast enough.

My breath catches when her hand grips my arm. I try to pull away, but I can't and I turn letting the fear she brings to me settle down in my gut.

"Mikayla." She whispers my name like a curse.

"What, Miley? What do you want?" I ask and I see her flinch because of my tone. It hurts to speak like that to her but I do it because I need her to hate me.

"I know you know." She accuses and I nod.

"Yeah, but I won't tell so let me go." Her brows furrow and her grip tightens as she pulls me towards some unknown destination down the dark street.

"Let me go." I repeat firmly but she ignores my demand. I sigh angrily as she leads me to a limo and pushes me in.

"Driver, can I have a moment?" She asks but her force says it more like a command and it makes me feel something I shouldn't when her voice is like that.

"Of course." He bumbles out moving swiftly out of the car and walking down the street, leaving us alone in the limo.

I keep very quiet in my brooding temperament as she turns to face me.

"What happened?" She questions in a soft voice.

"What do you mean?" I ask and she pulls her wig off setting it down and I'm astonished to be honest. Yes, I know her secret and yes, she knows I know but this is different. This is her showing me herself. I keep my emotions to myself and stay indifferent and I can see the hurt in her eyes. Perfect. She has to hate me so I can go and leave her alone.

"What happened to us? We were friends and then you just left. You taunted me with my secret, and then you just left!" She accuses in a low voice trying to hide the pain, but I still felt it.

"I don't owe you an explanation. I did what I had to do so don't come here asking pointless questions. I suggest you go back in there with your blond bobble-head and forget I ever existed." I speak with force but she moves closer, cornering me this time.

"Don't you speak to me that way, Mikayla. If it bothers you that I came here with him then fine. Say so." She challenges and it makes me furious as I cross my arms and clench my jaw.

"I have no feelings when it comes to you. You can see anyone you want. I don't control you." I get the words out feeling them graze past my throat like daggers.

"No. I want to see you, but you left. How could you just leave me like that? I needed you and I couldn't get to you." She says and while I hear the emotion in her voice, I do my best to ignore it.

"I don't need you so why would I waste my time? I don't care if you need me, Miley. I don't care about you." The lies stream out easily and I see it works, breaking her affection towards me and anger begins to stir in those stormy blue eyes.

"You do care." She growls. "I know you care!" She says grabbing my hand, but I pull it away.

"No, I don't! I don't care one bit." Her eyes get angrier as they narrow.

"Stop saying that! You don't mean it." I force a smirk as I continue lying.

"You're pathetic, Miley. How could I care about someone-" And before I can finish my statement her hand connects with my face harshly and it rings in my ears. I grab my cheek and turn to her.

My heart truly stings now.

"Don't ever talk to me like that again." She orders and I feel weak and nod like a little child being scolded.

"Sorry." I murmur realizing I went too far. She hit me. I hurt her and she hurt me, except the way I hurt her is worse because my pain slowly goes away while the words I threw at her are still thick in the air. She scoots over and moves my hand from the cheek she slapped and she places hers gently over the stinging skin. I lean into her hand and my tears are little traitors as they slip out, sliding onto her hand.

"Me too. I'm sorry too, I had to though. I hate lies and you're full of them." She says softly as if she can see right through me. I hate that. I hate that she can read me so well.

"Now, tell me why you ran away." She says but I refuse to answer as I stay in my silence.

"I hate you." She says and my head flies up and my eyes bore into hers. She said it. She hates me. My jaw is clenched tightly and I nod.

"Good. I hate me too." I whisper and she brings her other hand up, gripping my face tightly.

"I hate you so fucking much!" She hisses as her own tears join with mine. She's making me look at her and I can't stand seeing her tears so I try looking away. "No! Look at what you've done! Look at how you've hurt me! I hate you for that." Now I'm sobbing harder cause I can't bear to see her crying and hearing her so angry with me.

"I know, Miley. I hate me too."

"Not as much as I do. I hate you so much." And she pulls me closer and presses her lips to mine. Our faces are wet and her lips are hard and angry against mine. I taste the saltiness of our tears mixing against our lips. I don't know why she's kissing me. This is what I've been avoiding the whole time yet here she is making it so easy to touch her.

I thought she was off-limits to me. I thought I had to stay away and so I did. But she is making it so easy to have her and I can't help but wonder why.

Her lips are moving firmly over mine, like she's telling me something. _I hate you._ That's what this kiss is repeating to me. I'm sobbing harder and my hands are limp against my side. I'm so afraid to lift them. So afraid to touch her. So afraid to give in. Her lips detach from mine and she pulls my body into hers, holding me tightly, like she'll never let me go.

"Is that why you left?" She asks now and I nod against her chest.

"I had to Miley. I'm obsessed with you. It's so wrong and I can't be around you without wanting to be with you and hold you and make you mine and only mine. I feel crazy." I whisper, admitting what I thought would make her let go.

"Yes, you are crazy. Crazy for leaving me alone. Crazy for making me go through all this pain, and crazy for not knowing that I love you."

"No! Don't say that! You hate me!" I yell pulling away, but she grips my wrists tightly.

"I hate what you've put me through but I love you." She says it slowly and pronounces each word as if to burn it into my soul and now the tears are coming back.

"We can't though. It's so wrong."

"Who says it's wrong!" She demands.

"Me! I say it's wrong!" And she smiles wryly before speaking softly.

"Well, you're wrong then and I'm going to change your mind."

"You can't change my mind." I say but her lips are on mine again.

"I bed to differ." She challenges, whispering in my ear before her tongue swirls around it, leaving me breathless.

"Stop it, Miley, this is wrong." I mumble while her hands grip my legs, dragging me to lay down on the limo's seat.

"It doesn't feel wrong." She replies as she holds my wrists and presses them down above my head. Her body lays against mine in a delicious way and I know I can't fight this. I can't fight her and these feelings, these desires that she's bringing out.

Her leg slips between mine and her thigh is pressing down against me.

"Miley." I whimper and my hands are struggling now and I get out of her hold only to be restrained again.

"Don't try to fight it." She whispers with eyes that are full of lust. I feel dazed just looking at them and her thigh presses into me again making me moan this time. "Do you like that?" She whispers pressing deeper and she gets the response she wants.

"Yesss." I hiss, pushing upwards, now desperate for the pressure and she smiles. A genuine smile. It makes my insides melt that I made her smile when I gave in to her.

She let's go of my hands knowing I won't fight anymore and I grip her waist pushing up again, but this time she stops me. Well, I'm not surprised she stopped me. I don't deserve this. Not with her.

Despite my negative thoughts, she leans over and kisses me on the lips. It's full of lust and it's sweet but demanding and I kiss back just as passionately, letting my hands roam her body freely. Her mouth pulls away from mine. She moves to my neck, licking, making me moan again. Feeling the zipper at the back of her dress I slowly and uncertainly pull it down.

She sits up shrugging out of the dress letting me see her black lacey bra. I'm mesmerized as I reach up and place my hand over her breasts. She breathes harder now as her hands come down over my breasts and I grit my teeth as she presses down, feeling my nipples harden through my clothes.

"Miley, what are you doing to me?" I ask but all I get in return is a grin. She's sitting on top of me and she slowly pulls off my clothes, piece by piece, gazing at every part of my body till I'm bare under her.

"Take it off." She whispers lifting my hands back to her breasts and I lean up undoing the bra and letting her breasts fall out delightfully as I drop the material.

"You're beautiful." I whisper, caressing her breasts softly before I tease her hardened nipples.

While I do this she's wiggling over me, taking off her panties. I realize she's totally naked on top of me and I look at her all over with greedy eyes, enjoying this. She leans over me and I pull her nipple into my mouth tasting the aroused flesh.

"Oh god, Mikayla…" She moans edging me on as I move to the other breast, darting my tongue to flick over the nipple. Her knee pushes between my legs, parting them as she moves a little lower and leans down on me fully. Our bodies mesh together and my arms come around her, holding her against me. One of her hands moves lower, pulling my leg up so she can press her thigh fully against my wet throbbing flesh.

I groan feeling her bare skin on mine and my eyes widen when I feel her wet aroused center on my thigh.

"Miley!" I exclaim in panic but her face is smiling above mine. Her lips meet mine again, telling me it's okay before she starts moving. I try to stay still as her wet center is sliding against me but it's not long before the friction is arousing me beyond my limit making me grip her tight rear as I start rolling my center along her skin. She presses harder and our mouths are seeking each other's with need. I buck harder and out of control with her, going faster as a heated feeling spreads through my lower area and everything is clenching and begins to spasm in me.

"Mikayla!" She groans my name against my lips and speeds up, throwing me over the edge.

"Oh god, I'm coming." I announce, gripping her bottom tightly as I buck harder.

"Fuck! Come with me, Mikayla!" She pleads, riding me faster and I lose it right there as everything releases, clouding my head and making me dizzy, but she's still right there, going so fast, giving me so much pressure and it's all building up again.

"Miley! Fuck! You're gonna make me come again!" I cry out her name now, but she turns relentless, pushing her leg up and her lips are suddenly on my neck. Her hands are on both of my legs, squeezing them together, making the sensation more profound and I find myself at her mercy, screaming and begging for my orgasm.

"That's right baby. Do you wanna come?" She asks panting in my ear, grazing her lips against it.

"God, yes, make me come!" I beg.

"Do you still think this is wrong?" She questions deviously and I shake my head, lost in this need for a release.

"No, it's so fucking right for you to fuck me senseless!" I say more than I meant to and she's moving harder now.

"That's right, Mikayla! Oh fuck!" She whimpers out as she comes hard against me, biting down on my shoulder. The painful pleasure of her bite is what grabs at me and my muscles are painfully tightening, making me go crazy convulsing under her, causing her to moan while her orgasm is racking through her body before she falls limply over me, trying to breathe. Moments later my own body becomes tired and spent as I finish and my muscles begin to relax.

"There is definitely nothing wrong about that." I concede, making her chuckle as she lifts her head weakly.

"I'm glad you see it that way because if not, I would have to drag you back to my hotel and convince you for as long as it took." She states, pressing her lips to mine. I feel different now. I feel like I'm me again. The person I was when we first met before I changed and I smirk at her.

"Well, now I'm starting to change my mind...I think you just might have to keep convincing me." I tease and she laughs at my words, sitting up, pulling me with her.

"Get dressed so I can call the driver back and take you somewhere private. No one should hear any of the things I'm prepared to do to you." She says as a joke, but I can feel the hint of seriousness in her statement. Quickly, we start pulling our clothes on and I can't wipe the smile off of my face.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that I love you." I whisper as I zip the back of her dress up. She turns and kisses me softly.

"It's forgiven as long as you're back." And she means as long as I'm back with her and also as long as I'm back to me. Mikayla, the girl who teases her, loves her, and has a trademark smirk, grin, and smile. I give her my smile and she gives me hers, making me pull her tight into my arms.

I don't feel so afraid anymore. Not when I know she's mine and that being here with her isn't wrong.

It feels good to think properly again. I guess I was wrong.

You can't fight love for very long, but this is one battle I don't mind losing at all.

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**The End**

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**A/N: **_Okay, so this was interesting to write because I was feeling sad and sitting in the dark all alone but I feel better now, lolz. I hope anyone who read it enjoyed it and I'd appreciate any reviews but thanks to the readers. Love you all ^.^_


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